09: The Zombie Dance
Black Ghoul Introduction
She lived as a zombie in life, so she will remain forever a zombie in death!
Ed Wood Crazy Talk Grade: No, nothing going. No grade.
Look, screw you Wood! You've used "She X in life, now she X in death" way too much to even consider giving you a grade. Do I sound bitter? Well, you're damn right I'm bitter!
Let's try to improve this:
She wandered through life shunning all, never feeling nor cared to have others feel for her, never reaching out for the touch of another! She lived as the dead rests, and forever more shall she spend eternity stripping in a leaf-covered plywood graveyard!
There, 2 seconds and I came up with something better!
Look, screw you Wood! You've used "She X in life, now she X in death" way too much to even consider giving you a grade. Do I sound bitter? Well, you're damn right I'm bitter!
Let's try to improve this:
She wandered through life shunning all, never feeling nor cared to have others feel for her, never reaching out for the touch of another! She lived as the dead rests, and forever more shall she spend eternity stripping in a leaf-covered plywood graveyard!
There, 2 seconds and I came up with something better!
Sexiness
This one is bizarre. There's no other way to describe it. The music has another abrupt shift, and the dancing is, well, zombie moves. There's the shuffle, the strange curtsey, and the lateral circle strafe -- but mostly zombies moves -- hands up, slowly walking around.
I always felt boobs could make anything better, but here is the unmitigated proof that it is just not true.
That said, this woman has a huge stack of hair, so that earns her an extra point, and Criswell gives the best look in this whole film:
I always felt boobs could make anything better, but here is the unmitigated proof that it is just not true.
That said, this woman has a huge stack of hair, so that earns her an extra point, and Criswell gives the best look in this whole film:
Heh heh, naked lady!
Grace
Not applicable!
Closeness to Theme
She starts out in a cute yellow dress -- not very zombie-ish -- but frankly I don't think most people would want a real zombie stripper.
(Shyly checks video collection for Return of the Living Dead.)
(Shyly checks video collection for Return of the Living Dead.)
Music
More sub-Night on Bald Mountain as filtered through Emmet Otter's Jug Band. As before, there is the sudden appearance of the less spooky but more kooky piece Xylophone Falling Down the Stairs.
Length of Act
About 4 and a half minutes of boobs and remaining a zombie forever in death.
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